Fear vs Danger
"Feel the fear and do it anyway." - Susan Jeffers
@cottonbro
Fairly early on after I started my travel accessory business, I realized I had created a product that people truly loved. I had spent the first year or so perfecting my product pitch and getting customer feedback by setting up a booth at numerous local street fairs, makers markets, and pop-up shows. I felt confident in the quality and market demand for my product, and wanted to see if I could get a major publication to write about it.
I thought the magazine Real Simple, dedicated to providing readers with smart solutions and ideas to make their lives easier, would be a great fit for the target audience I was trying to reach. Having started my career in sales, I began some reconnaissance on which of their journalists were writing about travel accessories, crafted a short, cold email pitch to one of the writers, and sent it off into cyberspace.
To my surprise and delight, a few weeks later I received a one-line response: “Please send me a sample to review.” I honestly couldn’t believe that my tactic had worked, and hurriedly shipped a sample to her. A couple months later, there was my luxe waterproof travel pouch, featured in Real Simple. I was over the moon.
The results of the feature were so successful I decided to hire a PR agency to try and get more press coverage and expand sales. I was thrilled to learn that more media outlets were interested, and many ultimately ended up reviewing or featuring my bags across both print and digital national publications.
One day, my PR rep called me. “One of the major market local news stations wants to feature you in their live ‘Made in San Diego’ segment next week. Can you be there to go on air next Wednesday at 6am?” My stomach flipped. It was at once exhilarating and terrifying to think about presenting my company on live tv. What if I froze? What if I bombed? What if I sounded stupid? All I could hear was Adam Sandler’s skit ‘Oh Mom…’ running through my head.
As all of this fear swirled around in my brain, my inner voice spoke up. “Are you really going to let your fear of being on live tv hold your business back?” My true Self, encouraging me to fight through the fear and do something I knew would help my business - and me! - grow. I told my rep I would be there.
Arriving on set was intimidating. I walked through the newsroom, and into the green room to wait for my segment to start. Finally, I walked into the studio, where all of the familiar newscasters were reporting. I told myself to just pretend I was at my booth at a street fair, talking to a potential customer. I focused on the journalist interviewing me, and ignored the red light blinking out of the corner of my eye.
The recording went great. It was over really fast. Afterwards, I realized I had given my product pitch so many times in low-risk environments that it had just flowed out naturally on live TV. I was so grateful I had spent all that time practicing to prepare me for this larger-scale opportunity.
Later, when I watched back the recording of the segment sent to me by the news channel, I realized I had flubbed a couple of words. Instead of saying that my bags prevented “mold and mildew” from ruining your expensive swimsuit or workout clothes, I had said, “mild and moldew”. A few friends, neighbors, and even one of my retailers texted me and said they had seen me on the news that morning. They were so excited for me, and said I had done a great job. Not one of them had noticed my mistake.
Fear is an important emotion. Our body’s fight or flight system is outstanding at notifying and preparing us for potential impending danger. But fear and danger are NOT the same. And I’ve found that most often, when I feel fear in my everyday life, it is actually just fear of what society will think. The unwelcome Itty Bitty Shitty Committee in my head gossiping about what my friends/ family/ colleagues/ acquaintances/ hairdresser’s great aunt’s cat will think of what I am doing. It is my ego getting in the way of what my true Self wants. It is OK if people around you don’t understand what you are doing! This is your life, not theirs. Unless you are actually walking towards a growling bear, take a few deep breaths, and go for it.
Recently, I was speaking with a coaching client about this. She was scared to try something she had always wanted to do, worried what would happen if it didn’t work out. “Fear will always be there,” I told her. “No matter where you are in your journey, you will come across new situations that you are nervous about taking on. You need to think of your fear like a sidekick. Like my sweet black lab. She will bark at the door every time someone knocks, warning us that an intruder might be trying to break in the house, when in fact, it is just the UPS guy delivering our Amazon packages. I thank her for doing her job and trying to keep us safe, and reassure her that we ARE actually safe.”
When your body starts to feel short of breath, an increased heart rate, and butterflies in your stomach, it cannot tell if you are excited to go on a date, nervous about a presentation, or facing a mama bear with her cubs. So pause and think: is this my ego worried about what people are going to think? Is this something my soul truly longs to do? Is this action in my best interest? Am I ok with the consequences if this doesn’t turn out as expected? Do I want to try this more than I am worried about “failing”? How will I feel if I don’t try at all?
Learn to tell the difference between the fear of judgment and the true danger of physical harm. It can even be helpful to give your fear a nickname. Then thank your anxious sidekick for bringing their concerns to your attention, and Just Do It.
