Learn to Embrace ‘No’
“I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.” ― Robert H. Schuller
via YouTube @thedailysales6412
I started my career in sales. Door-to-door business long-distance sales to be exact. Yes, this was a long time ago, when you still had to pay the phone company to call someone outside of your area code. It’s a convoluted story about how I got into this job in the first place, and I’ll save that for another time. Suffice it to say, I was under a time crunch to find a job, and this was what was immediately available.
My job was to cold-call small businesses and try to convince them to switch their long-distance branded provider (ex: AT&T) to our no-name company, literally generically called “Telco”. This was a terrifying prospect for me, but I needed a job, so I had to get over my fear and, as they say, Just Do It.
The company trained us with an exact script and methodology, which began with walking into the business with authority and asking to speak with the president. This was typically followed by confusion from the front desk staff, who would ask if I had an appointment, and frequently ended with me simply being told to leave my business card and that someone would call me. On the worst day, a smug office manager in a high-rise building called security on me, and I was chased back to my car by four security guards on walkie-talkies for violating the “No Soliciting” sign on the ground floor.
Surprisingly, though, often enough the receptionist would actually go find the owner, who would come out to see who wanted to speak with them. Through tenacity and grit, I became one of the top sales reps at the company by enduring this constant rejection and the semi-regular embarrassment of being kicked out of business offices.
My young co-workers and I would trade stories at the end of each day about our adventures and tribulations. We would console ourselves by telling each other that at least we weren’t in copier sales, as we were trying to save these businesses money rather than having to convince them to spend a couple thousand dollars on new equipment. For a long time, I used to win the icebreaker contest of “who in the room had the worst first job,” until I met a guy whose first job was cleaning out the elephant enclosures at the zoo.
While I still get a slight hint of PTSD when thinking about being chased across the parking lot by those power-mongering security officers, this first job holds a special place in my heart. Thanks to spending nearly a year constantly hearing no (and sometimes worse!), I overcame the fear of talking to new people. Networking events are nothing to me. And what a gift it is to overcome the fear of rejection! I learned not to take “no” personally, built the confidence to ask for what I want or need, and to speak up for myself.
As a wise man once said, “If you don’t ask, the answer is automatically ‘no’.” To succeed at building something new, you must be willing to hear no. You need to get comfortable being (very) uncomfortable. As Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, who made history by becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire, said, “Everything about my journey to get Spanx off the ground entailed me having to be a salesperson–from going to the hosiery mills to get a prototype made to calling Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus. I had to position myself to get five minutes in the door with buyers.” In other words, she had to be able to confidently ask for what she wanted, and be resiliant in the face of “no”.
I’m not saying that you have to go into sales and get repeatedly rejected for years to build your confidence. But I am saying that the best way to conquer a fear is to go through it. So put yourself out there! Practice talking to new people and asking for what you need. Be ok with looking ridiculous or feeling embarrassed. These experiments will help you build the fortitude you will need to build your business.
Oh, and by the way, Sara Blakely started her career selling fax machines and copiers.
