When thinking about your purpose, your next step, or that big jump, whose opinion is silently holding you back?
I had the good fortune of working with photographer Kalen Jesse a couple of weeks ago. It has been a loooong time since I got a professional headshot done, and my image choices for the About page on my new website were limited to family vacation pix, selfies, and AI-generated “uncanny valley” versions of me.
The brand strategist who designed my new Life Monarch website, Allie Gibson at Growth Story, took the time to help me find a photographer in the Denver area, and she hit a home run with Kalen. Although I felt awkward posing in public places like a wannabe influencer, Kalen made me feel comfortable and, as I expected from her portfolio, made me look and feel like myself in the final photos. She even encouraged me to embrace my curly hair, rather than straightening it as I usually do when I “dress up”:
Photos by Kalen Jesse Photography Co.
When I got the photos back this week, I was excited to check them out and show my family. My older son in particular has an unexpectedly mature sense of style, so I had asked him to evaluate the various outfit options I had laid out. Despite advice coming at me like, “That makes you look like an English teacher” (no shade to English teachers!), “You need more color on top to break up the monotony”, and “Your nails don’t match your shirt,” I finally settled on a couple of options that I felt represented who I am.
While I was proud as they looked at the photos and said, “Nice”, “Good one”, “Cool” for the vast majority of images, my teen sons also had some unexpected feedback. “Are you even in front of a real building (yes, I was!) because that looks like a Zoom background”, ”I don’t like that black and white one, you look like you’re in the Great Depression,” and my favorite, “That is the face you give me when I interrupt you to ask for the wifi password while you’re working.” #boymom
My boys call this one, “Mom’s Wifi Side Eye” 😂
My husband and I don’t take ourselves too seriously, so our boys both have a great sense of humor. Gently razzing each other is how we show affection in our family. All of this to say, though, it is hard to put yourself out there. Even the people who love you the most have opinions that may challenge your intuition and make you question your decisions. Learning to separate constructive criticism from the noise and follow your inner voice when choosing what is right for you is one of the ultimate life lessons.
One of the biggest reasons people put off “that thing they’ve always wanted to do” is the fear of what “everyone else” will think, especially those we are closest to. When thinking about your purpose, your next step, or that big jump, whose opinion is silently holding you back?
For the record, I kept my bright orange “Monarch Butterfly” nail polish, despite said teenager’s opinion that it clashed with my outfit and making me momentarily second guess myself. I wanted my branded nails to stand out and be noticeable, because they were unexpected and quirky.
My Monarch Butterfly Orange Nails 🧡
As you move forward on your purpose journey, what’s one small way you can practice listening to your inner voice, even in the face of others’ reactions? Maybe this looks like researching your next step without asking anyone for their opinion, and deciding how you feel about the idea first. How does your body feel when you think about pursuing your idea? If you feel excited and only start questioning yourself when you think about sharing your idea with others, it probably means you’re prioritizing others’ opinions over your own.
Just for fun, here’s my husband’s favorite shot, which he says looks exactly like me the minute a good friend makes a joke, and I lose it laughing.
To being yourself anyway! — Eileen, Founder @lifemonarch
